More Ways to start chatting with strangers

I’m sure that a lot of other students will also having concerns about improving their communication skills. 2 or 3 things! See, hospitality is a service industry, so communication becomes very very important! Because you can solve guest issues, you can have so many issues which can be solved just by good communication. By proactive communication. So, I’m sure, students from engineering, business management or regardless of whatever field you are from. Or some of you might want to become politicians tomorrow. And then this is a very important skill.

    In fact, many studies have shown that other things being equal.. And all other things being equal.. An individual’s communication skills and their leadership skills, which are co-related, can distinguish and can mark the journey of one’s life achievements. 1st myth that I want to clear is: “Good communication does not mean knowing the English Language!”Many people have a misconception that if I’ve learnt English, I’ve also learnt to communicate! Sorry! English is a ‘Language’ and communication is a ‘Skill’! Two very different things. Even after learning good English, your communication can be pathetic. When required, you won’t be able to speak up! Right, and even if you know no language; god forbid, just imagine, one is born in Jungle itself. And he doesn’t know any language, he only knows body language. Right! Let there be 2 people in jungle, person A’s body language will be different form Person B’s! Yes or No? You can try it right now! If you have to ask for a pen from her, without using words.

    Go ahead! Now, Navi can you do the same? I want you to catch this. (Learning) So of them are gonna be different! Right! And this can be misinterpreted. One of them, if someone, really badly needs pen, he’ll be like (aggressive)! But is there a variation between the two or not, that’s what I’m asking! (Learning: Poor communication can be misinterpreted) Yes! So, coming back to the same point. Communication is an ‘art’ that can be learned, that can be developed! English is a language, that can be learnt! Now the problem is, a mistake which most people make..

They learn words from the dictionary, and they try to insert it wherever it is possible! And especially when we try to impress others. Then, search for immensely strange and critical words, and use them in your sayings for demotivating others! (Pun intended) Other person will also be impressed that his communication, his English is very profound! This is a misconception! You first need to develop the art! Rather I suggest to learn the art of communication in your mother tongue. Making an eye contact, body language, voice tonality, being proactive, these sort of thing. To learn these, English is not required! And side by side, if you want to improve your English..

Keep it generall! Keep a small note book, in which you are putting down difficult words! Train your brain on multiple fronts. Increase your Reading! Are you reading at the moment? Are you writing at the moment? Do you write on a daily basis? Not in the class, not notes, do you write something? So if you are not reading, if you are not writing, are you watching something? Are you watching other good communicators, on YouTube, or somewhere else, Are you? Yes? Are you listening to audios? So, brain has so many ways to receive information, use all of them! Right! Communication is an art, just like a muscle it can be developed. 

 I don’t know who said this, but this is a famous quote which says.. Communication works for those, for those who work at it! Communication works for those, those who work at  it. If you will work at communication, you will get better! If you will work at improving you art of converting your ideas, do hard-work, (you will succeed). I am gonna introduce you to a law, which not only in communication but in every field this law is applicable. It is called, ‘The law of paying the price.’What’s it called? The law of paying the price.

I don’t know if it’s coming from Jack Canfeild or Brian Tracy, one of those two gentlemen, ‘the law of paying the price.’Which simply stated means is: If you want something, You must pay the price. Nothing is free. If you want something in life, you wanna wear a nice branded suit, you wanna go to a nice holiday, you wanna buy a nice camera or whatever. The things, whatever, the higher the quality, the higher the price you need to pay. Right! But in life’s improvement, I am not talking about the money. Few people think they will achieve everything with money. Not gonna happen! I stayed in Mumbai for few day, there was gym where I saw a very interesting scene.

That in the evening, a big VIP person came to exercise. He was himself a little overweight but there were two bodyguards along with him. Very well built bodyguards, 6 feet 2 inch, with a pistol and everything, full drama. One attendant held his towel, the other held his protein shake. One another held the water bottle. Okay, naturally, he would be some big-rich-influential personality’s son. But after doing all these thing, he had to do his own ‘push-ups’. (Giggles) It doesn’t matter how rich or influential your father is, you cannot ‘pay’ someone else to do ‘push-ups’ for you! Right? So, learn to do your own push-ups! Which means, to develop the communication, efforts had to be put in.

Without efforts, there is no key, no guide, no shortcut, through which you can achieve it. It’s gonna take efforts. It will take time. It will take hard-work. But, here’s what you need, you need good role models. Like whom do you wish to learn to communicate? Listen to news reporters, journalists, people who are good politicians, people who are good at the art of communication. Politician doesn’t mean all that everyone would start their speech in the class with ‘brothers and sisters’. (Pun intended) (Giggles) Or start with ‘(friends) Mitron’. (Pun intended) Right! This is not what I mean. Means you see how a person is influencing the crowd. Learn that art! That how any person is influencing crowd, and how I can use it. This comes first, words come later! In-fact, I don’t know if it the Howard University study  which says that, words are only 7% of the entire communication from 1 person to the another. Body-language is huge, visual is huge, auditory is huge, your body posture, your tone of your sound, and so many things. They’re all combining together.

So, if you determine in your heart, that I need to improve in this art because this will be very beneficial in future. Son, now see, when you go into the work environment, you will have 100 different ideas. But if you cannot express them, what’s the point? Someone else will come, he knows to express well, his ideas will be heard, he will be appreciated, he will move ahead (in life). And then you’ll say (complain), ‘his good luck was better!’He is born lucky or something like that. No, nonsense. He has developed a skill which you are slightly weak at and you can develop too.

So, you need to remove this mental block. Nobody is born a good communicator. You gonna work at it And you can! It’s like a muscle, the more you use, the better it gets. Raise your hand when you’re feeling nervous. You are in the big auditorium, some guest speaker has come in. I have done this! And at that time when, ‘any question?’And instant silence in the entire hall.. At that moment, you feel, I have it in my mind, should I ask or not, at that time.. Raise Your Hand! The first time I raised my hand, my brain sat down! So my hand went up, my brain went in shut down mode. Okay, I forgot my question. But still, be stubborn, raise your hand! By the time you do it, 3 or 4 or 5 times, ( you will make it) I think another gentle man, had a question. When I am talking to people, who are in positions of authority, high status of authority, then I am able to communicate with my same leveled people. But when I need to communicate with a senior person or the person of authority, then i face issues.

There is only one solution to overcome this issue. Talk to more people who are in positions of authority. The more you’ll get comfortable, you are likely to realize that they don’t bite! (Pun intended) (Giggles) They are also people! And they also listen to the words, these are also normal human beings. The more you do it, the more comfortable you’ll get. And that the only way, there is no shortcut around it. The best way is to make yourself uncomfortable. Put yourself into those situations, where you are feeling uncomfortable, and you will emerge victorious. But if you’ll remain in your comfort zone, I have to do whatever I was doing always, then what will I receive? Yes? Student: Nothing Simerjeet: Not nothing, we will at-least get something.

I will do only, whatever I have always been doing. What will I get? I will get, the same, as I have been receiving! One of the definition of insanity is, ‘do the same that you are doing as always, and every evening pray to the lord to change your destiny!’It doesn’t happen this way! Some poet has said it beautifully when.. ‘Lord has not changed the circumstances of that person, who is not concerned to change his own circumstances!’Today, if you determine on how to change your circumstances, in terms of improving your communication skills. Come to me, after 6 months, with your efforts, Let’s see where the results are. But without efforts, nothing will be possible! Thank you!