The 110 techniques of communication and public speaking among strangers

Alright ladies and gentlemen welcome to to my passion and to my love and according to my wife my mistress in life seven years ago I embarked on a journey to analyze 5,000 public speakers from all over the world amateurs and professionals in order to distill and understand what makes a good speaker good what makes a great speaker great and what makes an outstanding speaker outstanding the result 110 core skills with loads of sub skills so what does it look like it looks like this these are the 110 core skills and the equation is simple the more of them you fulfill the greater you are now 110 skills that’s quite a tad too many to go through in one TED talk don’t you agree so what I’ve done is I’ve picked out my absolute favorites and I’d like to show you a demonstration of what it can look like imagine that this chair is something that you want somebody else to believe in you want somebody else to buy into this this is your idea this is you wanting to make your voice heard this gives you two options either you’re on this side of the chair and you’re a fairly mediocre communicator you shoot from the hip you hope for the best and sometimes it works sometimes it doesn’t option number two is that you’re on this side of the chair and you know exactly what you’re doing in every instance of time you know that by taking a step forward you increase focus you know that by tilting your head slightly to the side you increase empathy you know that by changing the pace of what you are saying you increase focus and you know that by shifting yourself lower you increase trust and you know that by lowering your voice you get anticipation and you know for absolute certain you pause you get absolute and undivided attention now the question then is can everyone be on this side of the chair can everyone become good at these skills what do you think the answer is of course it is why because it’s cool presentation skills skills skills skills skills skills it is not has never been I shall never be called the talents you’re not born with a particular gene that makes you brilliant on stage something you acquire through life now as I said 110 skills that’s quite the number so what I’ve chosen to do is I’ve picked out the five would I say most important skills whenever somebody comes to me and they want coaching this is what I focus on and then I’ll actually give you four bonus skills at the end as well sounds okay so let’s start with two of my favorites from body language which is skilled 34 and skill 69 that is not intentional not 34 what am i doing what could I be doing differently in this case ladies and gentlemen it is an absolute pleasure to have you here today good of you to come what should I have avoided I should have avoided closing my body language because whenever a human being closest their body language it is a sign that they feel threatened in one way or another so I should have continued with an open Lambada language so let’s have a look at number 69 which looks like this I’ll have to start up here so when a presenter starts like this they go what should I do better now ladies and gentlemen welcome to one of the most influential subjects known to mankind now this will be super interesting we’ll be going through this you’ll happy having an amazing time Wow it’ll blow you away what should I have avoided reversing look what a double incorrect looks like it looks like this ladies and gentlemen absolutely pleasure to have you here and good of you to come well a double correct looks like this ladies and gentlemen an absolute pleasure to have you here good of you to come is there a difference of course there is the biggest difference is in here I can feel a difference while doing those two versions you become what you are now let’s ask ourselves yeah but David the clothes body language things what shall I do with me hands what sure how where shall I put them and the interesting thing with the clothes body language is that wherever I went all over the world studying these people it seems like we’ve got a general kind of locked body language positions and I’ll show you my favorites that I’ve found we’ve obviously got the classical fig leaf position then we have the double bunny position you have the right bunny position the left bunny position their right ha killed and the left tackle then you have the forklift you of course have the peacock with flapping elbows you have the major the Merkel the prayer and the beggar one of my personal favorites is the the British horse rider and the British shores chloride er it look it’s a person who holds their hands like this puts it just above the chest it’s it’s like they’re off somewhere Oh God Fox over here and then we found two t-rexes as well in the study such a weird thing presenting like this or like this okay so so you mean David that we need to have an open body language yeah that’s what I mean and I’m not allowed to have them in my pockets not allowed to have them in my major or the double bunny no shall I do with them then what you should use them for is what is called functional gesturing to show that something is getting better well that something is getting less good or that it’s one two three four five that we are going to go through use your gestures for what they’re supposed to be used for and what’s interesting with this is that if you imagine the time we’ve spent on this planet as our race how much of that time have we spent using gestures and nonverbal communication in order to communicate what we’re saying is that more than verbal absolutely give me let me give you a demonstration of how important this I’ll say something now and everything I say will be super positive my facial expressions will be super positive and the way I say it will be super positive but my hands will be saying the opposite are you with me does this require some focus all of you should learn more about public speaking because if you do that you will become better you will grow and you will develop as a human being people will love your presentations listening to your arguments in just generally loving whatever you’re doing so do yourself a great favor learn more about this particular subject because you’ll be thanking yourself for the rest of your life and particularly you have been absolutely incredible so I thank you for listening yeah [Applause] now the question is this did you listen to what I was saying or what I was doing I believe that you focused entirely on what I was doing and that is the case with body language and gestures if it’s not saying the same thing as what you’re saying verbally there’s a discrepancy and a disturbance in the communication let’s move on from body language to a couple of tips on voice and the first one I’m going to give you is about pace so listen to this ladies and gentlemen what I’m going to take you through now is incredibly important now and for the rest of your future life we’ll go through the cortex we’ll go through the limbic in the reptilian system we’ll go through a psychological advanced profile where we tell you take you through the entire steps of the structure will then look at how that relates to Aristotle as ethos logos and pathos and I’ll carry on in this pace compare that to this ladies and gentlemen I’m now going to take you through something that is entirely and utterly boring something that you will have no use of in your entire life in every second spent listening to me now and on will be a waste of time and now look at your faces you’re like what that last bit I want more of that that was super interesting the useless stuff yet another brain so much I want the second bit why because your brains they react to when a person has a low pace you think that what I’m saying is more important than whenever have a high pace because that illustrates that I don’t really want to be there there are exceptions to this rule but that is the basics so keep a calm pace my next tip goes on pauses the pause is the pause important absolutely it is so let me give you a classical rhetorical proverb now without pauses and it goes like this did you know that every single decision you’ve taken in your entire life and will take for the rest of your life is based on one thing and one thing only if you give that to the people listening to you that is the feeling that is what will move them now allowed pauses and it sounds like this did you know that every single decision you’ve taken in your entire life and you will take for the rest of your life is based on one thing and one thing only and that is an emotion now if you give that emotion to the people listening to you they will take the decisions you want them to take is there a difference absolutely but you know what some people are afraid of the pause so you go like woah am I gonna do one of those I’m not I refuse I I prefer to compromise and you know what the compromise for a pause is what does it sound like yeah it’s like a skok of sheep when you listen to certain conferences but now there’s nothing among this 110 skills that lowers your ethos and your credibility more than Eng because it’s signals that you don’t know what you are saying and where you’re going in your talk so let me give you a demonstration did you know that every single decision you’ve taken in your entire life and will take for the rest of your life is based on one thing and one thing only and that is a feeling I think you prefer the one with silence now those were the five main skills I wanted to take you through and if you haven’t used them before and you start using them as a public speaker they will make a difference to your speech I would like to treat you two for small skills as well just to give you an appreciation of how small a skill can be but still will have a great impact it looks like this and those were the four skills did you follow them number one as I looked up which illustrates that I’m thinking which increases your your sense of presence for me on stage the second thing I did was that I did a audible inhale which makes your brain believe that I’m going to say something that’s exciting I then combine that with a Duquesne smile which means that I smile with my mouth and with my eyes did you fall for it because what I did as well was this I did a self laughter and also that increases anticipation of what I’m going to say so for small skills executed in five seconds changes to the state of your mind I’d like to pick out one of those and just end off with that and that is the Duquesne smile the King smiles has in studies shown that you are more likely to be married less likely to be divorced you’re happier you’re more content with life and you actually are more relaxed in situations like this so I asked myself am i decane smiling person and to figure out I walked over to my computer and I logged in and I looked at all my 60,000 Google photos they’re not all of me but of family members and others I looked at mine and it seemed my brain required short of a miracle to do a Duquesne smile you know where you smile with your entire face I thought that’s not fair and considering the psychological benefits I better learn this so I spend not four but six months learning how to do a decane smile and suddenly my brain was launching decane smiles in just everyday happiness it’s beautiful and I felt happier as a human being I want to show you what it looks like every time I go on my summer holidays I I take a photo of myself and this were the last year’s of those photos this was 2014 there’s no decay in smile 2015 definitely no decaying smile 2016 still no decay in smile 2017 no decaying smile this year Duchaine smile does it make a difference absolutely brings joy to you and stability to me now we’ve come to the end of this talk and I would like to end with something that relates to boxing you know Muhammad Ali and the lights they have combinations for when they’re going to strike somebody knockout and the same kind of combinations exist in public speaking as well so what I’d like to show you is this combination I’m going to start with the number 34 go to number 8 and then we’ll carry on to six to nine and nine to eight to six to seven and 18 22 and a 101 and 21 are you ready for the combination okay looks like this ladies and gentlemen I hope that you’ve had fun that you have learnt but more than anything I hope that you feel inspired to become a greater public speaker because anybody can become good anybody can come great and everybody can become outstanding because it all comes down to one single thing…..thank you

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